Let's all just try to forget about Ethan Moore.

I took all of this down a few weeks ago after deciding to come back to Arkansas. My main reason for writing here was to keep family updated, and now that I'm back home, there's no need because I see them almost every day. I thought I'd probably pick it up again someday, but for now, I don't really have much interesting to say. I changed the address to make it clear to everyone that I wouldn't be updating for a while. Some friends were disappointed, but seemed to understand after I explained. Not Ethan Moore.


Pictured: Ethan R. Moore, Hendrix College alum, b. May 4, 1983 in Boxford, Massachusetts, currently residing in Little Rock, Arkansas, employed as Web Coordinator for Arkansas Public Policy Panel / Citizens First Congress

No, Ethan R. Moore (who sometimes operates under the aliases WhiteNoiseEthan and crimethinc) hastily jumped at the opportunity to punish me through libel and ridicule on the internet, hijacking this blog's address before I had a chance to explain (he was probably drunk). He created a fake celebrity news blog under my name at this address, attempting to portray me as some sort of pervert with petty interests. I still don't know what he expected to accomplish. I tried using official channels to convince Google to remove the defamatory site, but because Ethan didn't use my legal name, Google would not help.

In the end, because I am smarter than Ethan and much less lazy, I was able to hack into his Google account, take my URL back, and move his fake site here. I could have hijacked his account permanently, of course, including his Gmail and other Google services, but I would never sink that low. Not Ethan Moore low.

I would, however, mention Ethan Moore of Little Rock, Arkansas, "Web Coordinator," vandal, and general drunk, specifically enough that this might show up on Google as a testament to his character. Why would you hire this man? He can't even keep his own Google account secure; would you really trust him with your internets?

More Reasons Not to Hire Ethan Moore

Ethan Moore spends more time playing computer games and reading technology news sites than getting his work done, and even if you ask him if he's getting his work done, he'll say yes, no matter what's actually on his screen.

Ethan Moore once ate my E.L. Fudges that I bought myself for a school club meeting, even though everyone was supposed to get some.

He is a very messy eater.

He also ate my Pop-Tarts while I was asleep and it took him like three weeks to replace them.

Ethan smokes!

Ethan Moore once expressed to me his interest in adopting refugee children, but only "so that I could use them to get attention from women who want to [commit adultery with] me [in spite of my family]." He went on to say, "I am not kidding here, Barry. I simply cannot wait to [disappoint] over my wife and adopted children."

He broke my couch just by sitting on it, so he'll probably break all of the chairs and such in your office, too.

Feel free to use this site as a forum for discussing Ethan Moore's moral shortcomings in the comments below. Send a message to all of the Ethan R. Moores out there so the world knows that bullies have no place on our internet.

UPDATE:
Benji shows some spine.
Ethan buckles.
Alex probably cares, somewhere, deep down.